way to much to read .so i will just go ahead and give you a 
emoji. 
must be your shirt ?
Crash course in how to bribe a cop 
First dude parks wrong, then two idiots trying to steal the car but are too stupid to drive. Then garbage guy comes and beats them with the broom stick. Thieves run away and one of them gets hit by different car. Then everybody runs away
WTF???
I can confirm 100%
Karma just keeps on coming 
Aliens once captured three people, one German, one American and one Russian.They put them in completely empty rooms, gave them two titanium balls each, and said: “The one who surprises us the most tomorrow, we will release.”
The next day they returned to the German. He was singing and juggling the balls. “Well you surprised us, but we need to see the others first.”
Then they went to the American. He was singing and dancing while juggling the balls. “Well, you totally surprised us. We’ll probably let you out. But we need to see the Russian first”
Shortly after the aliens returned, and said: “That’s it, we’re freeing the Russian.”
“But why,” asked the American?
“Well, he completely surprised us. He broke one of the balls and lost the other:”
Bono and The Edge walked into a bar. The bartender looked at them: “Not U2 again.”
The next day Bono returned alone, looking a little worse for wear. The bartender looked at him and said: “Hey Bono, you seem to have lost an edge.”
anybody needs a new job for testing these things?
