DONT BLAME ME ! jabbs told me tell this one =====What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit?
A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.
last one for now ======Two hunters are in the woods when one of them collapses.
His hunting buddy immediately calls 911. “My friend isn’t breathing,” he shouts into the phone. “What should I do?”
“Relax,” the operator tells him. “I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
There’s silence and then a gunshot.
The guy gets back on the phone and says, “OK, now what?”
Oh my goodness, that could get awkward!
and then say… I think someone is baking apple pie here
if you dont follow formula1 .you wont get this lol
I was in Asda yesterday, this thick bitch was on the check-out, face like a slapped arse and all the charisma of a half eaten waffle.
I came to pay, I had only bought milk and bread but had no change.
“£1.03 please”
“Sorry this is all I’ve got,” as I handed her a £20 note.
“Haven’t you got anything smaller, 'cos it will take all my change, and I don’t wanna count out £18.97?” she replied and pulled a stroppy face.
“I’ve got nothing, if that helps,” I replied…
she didn’t get it so I thought fuck it, I’ll pay by card.
“Shall I pay by card?” I asked.
“Don’t do me no favours,” she snapped.
I kept my cool and just put my PIN in.
“Cash back?” she asked sarcastically.
I couldn’t resist it… "Oh yes, £18.97 please."