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How do you make a pool table laugh?
Click Me
You tickle its balls.
An office manager was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes, he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them one question and their answer would determine who would get the job.
The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table, the interviewer asked, “What is the fastest thing you know of?” pointing to the man on his right.
The first man replied: “A thought. It pops into your head. There’s no forewarning that it’s on the way, it’s just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of.”
“That’s very good!” replied the interviewer. “And now you sir,” he asked the second man.
“Hmm… let me see… A blink! It comes and goes and you don’t know it ever happened. A blink is the fastest thing I know of.”
“Excellent!” said the interviewer “The blink of an eye. That’s a very popular cliché for speed.”
He then turned to the third man who was contemplating his reply.
“Well, out at my dad’s ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there’s a light switch, when you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light at the barn comes on in an instant. Turning on a light is the fastest thing I can think of.”
The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. “It’s hard to beat the speed of light.” he said.
Turning to the fourth man, he posed the question.
“After hearing the three previous answers, it’s obvious to me that the fastest thing known is diarrhoea” he said.
“WHAT!?” said the interviewer, stunned by the response.
“Oh I can explain.” he said. “You see, the other day I wasn’t feeling so well and ran for the bathroom. But, before I could think, blink or turn on the light, I shiiiit my pants!”
Oh noooo, you only posted 2 pal, not ran out of material already eh? 
TWO MEN BROKE INTO A DRUGSTORE AND STOLE ALL THE VIAGRA. BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR TWO HARDENED CRIMINALS.
I’VE BEEN CHARGED WITH K__LING A MAN WITH SANDPAPER. TO BE HONEST, I ONLY INTENDED TO ROUGH HIM UP A BIT.
MY FAVORITE CHILDHOOD MEMORY WAS MAKING SANDCASTLES WITH MY GRANDFATHER, UNTIL MY MOTHER TOOK HIS URN AWAY FROM ME.
Note: Apparently, you can’t write in all caps in this forum. It wouldn’t let me post these, until I added this lowercase text in the post.
A PENIS HAS A SAD LIFE. HIS FAMILY IS NUTS. HIS NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR IS AN ASSHOLE. HIS BEST FRIEND IS A PUSSY. AND HIS OWNER BEATS HIM HABITUALLY.
THE SEXUAL POSITION FORMERLY KNOWN AS 69 WILL NOW BE CALLED 96 BECAUSE THE COST OF EATING OUT HAS GONE UP SO MUCH.
WHY ARE BOOBS LIKE A TRAIN SET? THEY’RE MEANT FOR CHILDREN, BUT DADS LOVE PLAYING WITH THEM TOO!
IF HAD A DOLLAR FOR EVERY TIME A WOMAN TOLD ME I WAS UNATTRACTIVE, THEY’D FIND ME ATTRACTIVE.
lowercase
