After his barn burned down a Scottish farmer made an insurance claim so an insurance agent came to inspect the damage and no doubt try to sell the farmer more insurance cover.The agent said “are you insured against floods” “floods eh” said the farmer"that’s interesting, how do you set about starting a flood? "
a young man sneaks back into his flat late at night. however, he is already awaited there by his f____r, who shouts directly at him:
“where did you come from? we told you to be home by midnight!”.
“Sorry dad”, the young man replies, “we missed the time. i had sex for the first time tonight”.
“Son, sit down, we have to _____ to that!”
“well, i can’t sit just yet”
3 nuns at a bus stop, a streaker runs past, 2 have a stroke and the other could not reach.
I’ve now sold my homing pigeon 8 times on eBay.
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I accidentally paid for my lunch with my organ donor card… It cost me an arm & a leg.
There was this construction worker on the 3rd floor of a unfinished building. He needed a hand saw, but was too lazy to go down and get it himself, so he tried to call his fellow worker on the ground to get it for him, but this guy couldn’t hear a word he said. So he started to give a sign so the guy on the ground could understand him.
First he pointed at his eyes (meaning “I”) then pointed at his knees (meaning "need), and moved his hand back and forth describing the movement of a hand saw.
Finally, the guy on the ground started nodding his head like he understood and dropped his pants and started to jerk off.
The guy on the 3rd floor got pissed-off and ran down to the ground and started yelling at this guy, “You idiot, I was trying to tell you I needed a hand saw.”
The other guy replied, “I know, I was trying to tell you I was coming.”
If you can’t read turn the sound on 
Sound is better though.
On a dark night, returning from a motorcade through the countryside, one of the buses, full of politicians, leaves the road, overturns twice and crashes into a farm.
The farmer wakes up scared and goes to see what happened. When faced with that terrifying sight, he quickly starts digging a hole, where he buries the bodies.
A few days later, an investigator knocks on his door and asks several questions about the accident. - And where are the politicians? - I buried them in that grave over there! - But, were they all dead?
The farmer replied, Well… some said no… but you know how politicians lie!
Now you can post another 3
Q…Why do women have small feet?
A…So they can stand closer to the sink.
2014: Didn’t jog.
2015: Didn’t jog.
2016: Didn’t jog.
2017: Didn’t jog.
2018: Didn’t jog.
2019: Didn’t jog.
2020: Still haven’t jogged.
2021: No jogging, yet.
Click Me
This is a running joke.
