This is as close to brilliant as you can get.
The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so “profound” that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, “it will be a cold day in Hell before I s___p with you”, and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is, therefore, extinct…leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting “Oh my God.”
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY “A”
“This is as close to brilliant as you can get”?
God in heaven hell Yeh it is😂
Therefore Teresa is nearer to heaven than hell, she sounds divine. 
The Williams sisters are in the bathroom having a conversation.
Venus says: I think dad gives us testosterone in our food.
Impossible answers Serena, why do you say that?
Venus answers: I have hair that grows a lot.
It’s normal, Serena answers, look at my arms…
Venus answers: yes I know it’s normal but not on my balls!!!
A guy comes into work and tells some of his colleagues that the previous night he found a bar with toilets made of gold.
His colleagues start poking fun at him saying he must have hallucinated.
The guy concedes he was very _____ but is adamant the place exists.
So after work, they all head out and start visiting the bars the guy went to the previous day.
They walk in the first bar…
“Excuse me, is it here that there are gold toilets?”
The waiter laughs, “No, and I won’t serve you, I think you’ve _____ enough already…”
In the 5 next bars, they get similar answers. They walk into the sixth…
The guy asks the waitress, “Excuse me, is it here that there are gold toilets?”
The waitress opens her mouth to answer but then she seems to connect the dots.
She turns towards the back of the bar and shouts, “John! The dumbass who shat in your saxophone is back!”
Silencer, classic 
Sorry Rob this is my first visit, but deffo won’t be my last. My ribs have had more than enough for today mate.
Two Irish Men, Paddy and Murphy go for jobs on a building site.
Paddy is first to be interviewed.
The interviewer asks “What would you be if you had no eyes?”
After a long pause Paddy answers with “I would be blind” The interviewer says “Well done you’ve got a job on site, you start tomorrow”
As Paddy passes Murphy in the waiting room he whispers, “the answer to the question is, I’d be blind”
Murphy walks into the interview room and takes a seat.
The interviewer says " I have one question, if you answer it correctly you can have a job" Murphy agrees. The interviewer says “Okay what would you be if you had no ears?” slightly confused, Murphy answers, “I’d be blind” The interviewer is totally thrown off and asks, " How the fuck would you be blind if you had no Ears?" Murphy replies " Me fuckin glasses would fall off"
Three novices are sitting outside m____r superior’s chamber, waiting for the final test before they can become real nuns. The first one is called in and, after some deep and serious conversation, m____r superior says:
“One last question; what would you do, if you were out in a park and a man dragged you into the bushes to r__e you?”
Novice: “I’d hold down my habit as good as I could, scream out loud and try to tun.”
M____r superior: “That’s a good answer, you’ll become a full nun during tomorrow’s morning mass.”
Then it was the second novice’s turn, and at the end of the conversation, she got the same question. Her answer:
“I’d fight as hard as I could to protect my innocence”
That answer was also good enough for m____r superior and she invited in the third novice. They had the conversation and of course it ended with the same question. The novice answered:
“I’d lift up my skirts as high as I could.”
“What???” the astonished m____r superior gasped.
“Yes. And then I’d tell him to lower his trousers.”
“What???” m____r superior managed to repeat, almost fainting.
“Yes.” the novice said, “and then we’ll see who can run faster”.
We want more 
1948,two Germans, ex-soldiers, are walking on the Champs Elysees in Paris. They sit on the terrace of a cafe and Hans says to Helmut: “don’t speak coz the French don’t want to hear German for a while. I’m going to order in English and we won’t have any problem”…the waiter comes to take their order and Hans says in perfect English: “Two white Martinis please” and the waiter asks “dry”, Hans exclaims: “NEIN,NEIN , ZWEI !”.
An irate nasty guy in a restaurant has been complaining about his pork all evening
After about the fourth time he had complained to the waitress he called her over again.
Holding up his fork with a piece of pork on it he said to the waitress “is this pig” to which she calmly replied"to which end of the fork are you referring to.
The sunset ???
Yeah, that’s it, the sunset.