Hahahahahaha! I’ll try and find a classic German joke. Will be hard… Do you like Otto Waalkes?
He’s quite cool but sometimes his sense of humor does not match with mine 
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Hah old and funny one 
Vladimir was feeling a little sad with the way things are going and decided to regain glory for the m____rland by sending up a space shot. His advisors were very happy with the news and asked him if they were going to the moon? No, the capitalist pigs have been to the moon, Russia will put the first men on the sun!! His advisors look at each other and ask won’t the cosmonauts get awfully hot. Vladimir says he has it all figured out, he will just send them at night.
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B___dy hell Jabs got that one 
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It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the c___dren’s sermon. All the c___dren were invited to come forward.
One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the pastor leaned over and said, “That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?”
The little girl replied, directly into the pastor’s clip-on microphone, “Yes, and my Mom says it’s a pain in the ass to iron.”
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A 17-year old girl, being a good Roman Catholic, faithfully went to confession every Sunday after church. She never worried about penitence, because she was a good girl and the worst she was given until now was to pray ten Hail Maries.
This time however she did worry. She had given a blowjob for the first time in her life, which both she and her boyfriend had enjoyed by the way, and she was about to confess that. Coming into the church she spotted an altar boy.
She went to him and asked him: “Do you know what the pastor gives for a blowjob?”
At which the boy answered: “Usually a lollipop, but if he’s in a generous mood, it can be as much as five euros.”
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Pure British humour.
Used to love this when it was on the television: The Fast Show
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Do you ever wish you hadn’t clicked on something
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My twin brother called me from prison.
He said: “You know how we always finish each other’s sentences?”
Why do you wish you’d never clicked on that?
Lets just say not to my taste
So, does that mean the bus is more your type?
What's the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman??
You can unscrew a lightbulb.
Why do bears wear socks?
Because they have bear feet
that hurts
“Hello…”
“Hello?, I am John with the C.I.A.”
“I know.”
“And how would you know that?”
“Well, because you called a phone that has no SIM card, no battery, and is broken.”
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