I absolutely love bill hicks. Long May he annoy the believers in the afterlife he doesn’t believe in. 
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So they better get out of there and make it snappy😂
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That was supposed to be a laughing face, but I fell as___p, and now it’s too late to change it from a heart. 
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Who is your current vhtv nagger and who do you think was the biggest nag of em all?
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You 
Well, if you helped clean this house up once n a while, I wouldn’t have to keep on your fat arsed back.
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Three nuns die and go to heaven. They are met at the pearly gates by St Peter who tells them in reward for their lifetime of chastity and service they can go back to earth for 72 hours and do whatever they like with no consequences.
“Who do you want to be?” he asks Sister #1
“Marilyn Monroe,” she replies. Poof, she disappears in a flash of smoke.
“And you?” he asks sister #2.
“Sophia Loren!” she replies excitedly. Poof! She’s gone too.
“And finally, who do you want to be?” he asks sister #3.
“Sara Pippelini” she replies.
“Who? I have no-one of that name in my database. Are you sure you’ve got the name right?” says St Peter.
“Oh yes, she’s right here” and hands him a very old newspaper clipping which says…
“SAHARA PIPELINE - LAID BY 50 MEN IN THREE DAYS”
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Sophia Loren? Wow you are even older than I am.
One of my favourite comedians. 
Dave Allen on Religion
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Dave Allen is one of the greats. If you guys don’t mind, here’s another one 
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Yes And how about Claudia Cardinale or Raquel Welch? They don’t make them like that anymore Ah, the memories 
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She’s worth remembering. 87 years, but still beautiful
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They don’t make them like that anymore, and no foul language either, was a sad loss. 
When a small village decided to buy a new fire truck, the town council met to decide what to do with the old one.
Randall, an older man, stood up. “Ah think we should keep the old truck,” he said. “We can use it for all them false alarms!”
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I swear to God, Stinky, I didn’t want to do it. It was the Devil. He made me do it, I swear he did. He just took control of my fingers and started typing. It was like my fingers were just dancing over the keyboard.
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Sorry, Stinky, no one is older than dirt. ROFLMAO
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