Anyone want some tea? Special blend, freshly brewed!
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Because eggs are becoming scarce: Trump threatens to invade Easter Island
Washington (dpo) – Due to inflation and shortages caused by avian flu, egg prices in the US are currently at an all-time high. Now Donald Trump has unveiled a plan to address the egg shortage: a military invasion of Easter Island is intended to replenish the United States’ reserves.
“Not many people know this, but Easter Island in the Pacific Ocean is virtually unprotected,” the US President said at a press conference in the White House. “They don’t like to talk about eggs on Easter Island; it’s hidden in the middle of the ocean. But we’re going to make sure we get every egg stored there for the American people.”
He has instructed the military to prepare appropriate invasion plans, Trump said. “We’ll take them within hours. Hours. Our military can easily take a few Easter bunnies. And these big heads – believe me, they’ll lose to a Tomahawk cruise missile. They should have been racking their giant brains on how to better protect their island.”
After Easter Island is captured, more than 100 cargo ships will transport the presumably gigantic egg stockpile to the United States, where they will be stored at Fort Knox. “We’ll all only eat painted eggs, for a few cents. Omelettes, fried eggs, hard-boiled, soft-boiled. Soon they’ll be coming out of our ears. You’re welcome!”
Experts expect the first US maneuvers in the Southeast Pacific in the next few days.
The Postillon is a website for satirical news… so the truth content may not necessarily be particularly high (at least not at this point).
Today’s satire are Trump’s facts tomorrow…
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A fascist, an idiot, and a Tesla driver walk into a bar.
The bartender says: What would you like to drink, Mr. Musk?
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Sorry to take so long to get back to you. Yes, it starts out giving the impression that she’s talking about holding her bo oze, but when she says, she holds him by the ears, you realize she’s talking about what you said. The pun on the word liquor vs lick her.
Thanks a lot for the transcription. It looked very funny but I had no idea what she was saying.
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LOL! That’s not so much about the car as it is about the driver.
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