“Football is a simple game. Twenty-two men chase a ball for 90 minutes and at the end, the Germans always win.” If they get through the group stage. pic.twitter.com/Svhay80Kw2
— Gary Lineker 💙💛 (@GaryLineker) December 1, 2022
1 Like
After 2014, the Germans steadily declined and forgot how to win.
This phase will probably continue until 2040 or 2050, since the Germans only become world champions about every 20 years. 
1 Like
not quite inappropriate for here 
1 Like
Which one are you with missing Ross so much? 
1 Like
1 Like
I’ve been asked my opinion on monogamy.
I said it’s hard wood, ideal for use in making quality furniture.
1 Like
Just a load of one liners, enjoy……
Elevators terrify me… I’m taking steps to avoid them.
What do you call a man with no shins? Tony.
Me and my friends put a band together, we named it 999 megabytes. Still don’t have a gig though.
I got into a fight with 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9. The odds were against me.
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda. It was a Fanta Sea.
Just got hospitalized due to a peekaboo accident. They put me in the ICU.
In college I was so broke I couldn’t afford the electricity bill. Those were the darkest days of my life.
I said to my wife: ‘When I die I’d like to die having sex.’ She replied: ‘At least it’ll be quick.’
I’ve decided I want a pet termite. I’m going to call him Clint. Clint Eatswood.
So many people these days are too judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them.
‘Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?’ No sun.
I figured out why Teslas are so expensive. It’s because they charge a lot.
Guess who I bumped into on my way to get my glasses fixed? Everybody.
My wife blocked me on Facebook because I post too many bird puns. Well, toucan play at that game.
Did you hear about the new Origami Porn channel? It’s paper view only.
I was really angry when I ran into my friend Mark who stole my dictionary. I said, ‘Mark my words!’
I used to make loads of money clearing leaves from gardens. I was raking it in.
Two thieves were caught stealing a battery and a firework.
One was charged, the other was let off.
1 Like
You must think you’re a pun star now, eh?
1 Like
Not really a funny but a very good illusion.
1 Like
1 Like
