On a passenger flight, the pilot comes over the public address system, as usual, to greet the passengers. He tells them at what altitude they’ll be flying, the expected arrival time, a bit about the weather, and advises them to relax and have a good flight. Then, forgetting to turn off the microphone, he says to his co-pilot, “What would relax me right now is a cup of coffee and a blowjob.”
All the passengers hear this. As a stewardess immediately begins to run toward the cockpit to tell the pilot of his slip-up, one of the passengers stops her and says, “Don’t forget the coffee!”
I don’t think this one is here, if it is, forgive me. I got it from my cousin in France.
A guy was driving down a country road somewhere in France when he passed a sign very quickly, and thought it said “Sisters of St. Francis Convent and Brothel, 20 km ahead at to the right.” He was on a divided highway and couldn’t turn around, so he thought he just read it wrong. A little while later he comes to another sign, and this time slows down to read it: “Sisters of St. Francis Convent and Brothel, 10 km and to the right.” Now he is curious - so he decides he will turn off at the next sign to see what this is about. Soon he comes to a sign that says “Sisters of St. Francis Convent and Brothel, turn right here and follow the road.” So he turns off, and follows an unpaved road through a wooded area until it comes to a clearing. Sure enough, there is a convent ahead, with a parking lot in front, but no cars. A sign at the end of the parking lot says “Sisters of St. Francis Convent and Brothel” and a sign on what looks like the front door says “Enter Here - Ring Buzzer” So the guy goes to the door, pushes the buzzer and hears a click. The door opens and an elderly nun in a full habit beckons him inside. She shuts the door and points to a table with a large collection box on it, and the words 50 Euros. She tells the man, “just drop the money into the slot on the box, and go down that hallway to the last door on the right. Just open the door, you don’t have to knock.” So the guy deposits his 50 Euros, walks down the hall, turns to the door at the end and opens it. He finds himself in a small vestibule with one naked lightbulb overhead, and finds himself facing another door. As the door behind him closes, he hears a click - it is locked. A sign on the door in front of him says “Don’t knock, just Enter” So he opens the door, walks through and finds himself back outside in the parking lot. As the door closes, it also locks. He finds himself standing in front of a sign that says “Thank you for your visit. You have just been fucked by the Sisters of St. Francis. Have a Nice Day.”
I kind of like statistics, and I thought this was interesting. I didn’t know where else to post it. It’s not a funny, and it’s not me bragging. I’m sure more people have earned this more than I have.
try more, they set the limit from 3 to 5 some days ago
but you are correct buddy he is, of the highest order. 
