Oh, I can see what you mean. I definitely need someone to talk to, this is getting serious. Now where’s the number to the hotline 
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This is hilarious!!! I genuinely did laugh out loud.
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Glad you liked it. I’ve seen videos of rabbits fighting and that’s exactly how they do it. Jumping around like a martial artist, kicking, twisting around. It looks like a kung-fu movie, bunny style.
You wouldn’t think such cute little creatures would be such extreme fighters.
PS. I fell as___p writing this (my meds strike again). When I woke up, my battery had died completely to zero. Earlier in the day, someone had unplugged my charger, so when I thought it was charging it was just sitting there like a lump. When I was able to turn it back on, of course, it was no longer on this tab, and I had forgotten what I was doing when I woke up. What a comedy of errors.
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An elderly man rear-ended a guy driving an expensive European sports car. Enraged, the guy hops out and confronts the old man. He yells,
“Look what you did to my car! You’re going to give me $10,000 right now or I’m going to beat you to a pulp!”
“Oh my…” the old man said nervously. “I don’t have that kind of money. Let me call my son.” he said with hope. “He trains dolphins and he will know what to do.”
“Dolphins!” the other driver huffed, while rolling his eyes.
The old man pulled out his phone, dialed his son, and just as his son answered, the irate man snatched the phone away from the old man.
“So, YOU’RE a dolphin trainer, huh?” The irate man yelled, “Well, your old man here just rear-ended my car and I need TEN GRAND right now, or I’m going to beat you AND your old man to a pulp!”
“I’ll be there in 10 minutes.” says the voice calmly on the other end.
Exactly 10 minutes later, a Jeep pulls up and a guy hops out and proceeds to pulverize the bully, leaving him in a heap on the side of the road. When he finished, he walked over to his f____r and said,
"For the last time dad, I train Seals… Navy Seals. NOT dolphins!”
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Yesterday I was at Costco buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Necco, the Wonder Dog, which weighs 191 lbs. I was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had an elephant?
So because I’m retired and have little to do , on impulse I told her that no, I didn’t have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your jacket pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry.The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.
(I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me.
I told her no, I stopped to Pee on a Fire Hydrant and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
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That is also very true as well
