Yes spotted the Burger after a very close look. 
After dropping my new girlfriend home the other night after our first date, she told me I’d have to wait 3 months before she would have sex with me.
I told her I totally understood and respected her decision and that I’d ring her again nearer that time
A woman arrives home from work and her husband
notices she’s wearing a diamond necklace.
He asks his wife, “Where did you get that necklace?”
She replies, “I won it in a raffle at work.
Go get my bath ready while I start dinner.”
The next day, the women arrives home from work wearing a
diamond bracelet.
Her husband asks, “Where did you get the bracelet?”
She replies, “I won it in a raffle at work.
Go get my bath ready while I start dinner.”
The next day, her husband notices she arrives home from work wearing a mink coat.
Hesays, “I suppose you won that in a raffle at work?”
She replies, “Yeah I did! How did you guess?
Go get my bath ready while I start supper.”
Later after supper, she goes to take her bath and she notices
there is only one inch of water in the tub.
She yells to her husband, “HEY! There’s only an inch of water in the tub.”
He replies, “I didn’t want you to get your raffle ticket wet.”
Jack staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped around his throat.
The doctor asks him what happened.
“Well it was like this,” said Jack. “I was having a quiet game of golf with my wife when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows.
We went to look for it and while I was rooting around, I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end.
I walked over and lifted up the tail and sure enough, there was my wife’s golf ball; stuck right in the middle of the cows arse.
That’s when I made my mistake.
“What did you do?” asks the doctor.
“Well, I lifted the tail and yelled to my wife, “Hey, this looks like yours!”
Lady golfer returned to clubhouse in distress.
She told the pro she’d been stung by a wasp between 1st and 2nd holes.
Pro said “perhaps your stance is too wide”
I’ve Just got a parcel from Holland,
I opened it up and there was a rubber fanny inside.
I thought “That’s nice, Two lips from Amsterdam”
A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party.
She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone.
He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need of his good time being spoiled by not going.
So he took his costume and away he went.
The wife, after s___ping soundly for one hour, awakened without pain, and as it was still early, she decided to go to the party.
And as her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.
She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice chick he could, and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there.
His wife sidled up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new stuff that had just arrived.
She let him go as far as he wished; naturally, since he was her husband.
Finally he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had a little bang.
Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior.
She was sitting up reading when he came in and said what kind of a time he’d had.
He said, “Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you’re not there.”
Then she asked, “Did you dance much?”
He replied, “I’ll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening.
But I’ll tell you… the guy I loaned my costume to sure had a real good time!”
Reminds me someone … 
