Funny's & Jokes (Part 1)

A married man went into the confessional and said to his priest, ‘I almost had an affair with another woman.’
The priest said, ‘What do you mean, almost?’ The man said, ‘Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.’
The priest said, ‘Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You’re not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary’s and put £50 in the poor box.’
The man left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box. He paused for a moment and then started to leave. The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, ‘I saw that. You didn’t put any money in the poor box!’
The man replied, 'Yes, but I rubbed the £50 on the box, and according to you, that’s the same as putting it in!’

The doctor told me that i have to use my bike to burn some fat

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Clever and very funny!!!

I’m glad you liked it.
:+1:

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You called for an electrician and this is who they sent.

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don't bend

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I used to be a taxi driver but I got fed up with folks talking behind my back.

I don’t like cappuccino.
It’s just not my cup of tea.

The corny ones are often the best!

I can never resist going into a Hall of Mirrors, even though it reflects badly on me.