Paddy and Murphy fancy a pint ,but only have £1 between them.
so paddy goes off and buys a sausage and murphy says “are you mad!” we are skint now.
come on says paddy ,follow me, they go into the pub and order 2 pints and drink them quick before they pay , just as the bartender ask for the money, paddy pokes the sausage down his trousers and pokes it out of his zip,and tells murphy to suck it , which he does , the bartender goes berserk and throws them out of the pub .
10 pubs and 10 pints later , Murphy says to paddy “my knees hurt i cant do this no more and im pissed” “How do you think i feel” says Paddy “i cant remember which pub i lost the sausage in”!
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Paddys wife gave birth to triplets , “How in gods name did that happen?”
His wife replies "remember that night when we made love and i was really dry and we had no lube so we used that 3 in 1 oil ?"well thats what happens ,
“Bejesus !!!” says Paddy , thank fuck we didnt use WD40…
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Paddy is doing a crossword and says to Murphy ,"im stuck on 2 down ,a flightless bird from iceland " Murphy thinks about about it for a minuet and says “You thick bastard !! its frozen chicken” 
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