Absolutely Brilliant thank you for sharing 
He stormed into the kitchen and walked directly up to his wife.
Pointing a finger in her face, he said sternly,
“Firstly - From now on, YOU need to understand that I AM the MAN of this house, and simply accept that what I say goes!”
“Secondly - You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I’m finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert afterward.”
“Then, after dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me to our bedroom where we will indulge in whatever forms of lovemaking that I choose - no matter what you might have said in the past.”
“After that, you are going to draw me a warm bath so that I can relax.”
“You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe.”
“Then you will massage my feet and hands.”
“Then after that’s done, guess who’s going to dress me and comb my hair?”
His wife replied…
“My guess would be the funeral director.”
Why do I suspect that the comment ‘hm… well, for me it’s 4… at least’ is floating around in some users’ heads? 
“I haven’t had sex in a long time, I don’t even know how to do it anymore.”
“It’s like riding a bike.”
“I need a helmet?!”
