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Licky mi, neithor di I 
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Recently on Tuesday, Hannibal Lecter…
…and his wife were discharged from the maternity ward.
Nurse: “takeaway or eat in?”
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German scientists developed a wire so thin they couldn’t think of any use for it. They sent the wire to the Americans, the Russians, and the Japanese.
Americans: “No idea what you can do with it.”
Russians: “You can’t do anything with it.”
Japanese: “The wire is useless, but we cut a thread into it for you.”
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Two chemists:
“My daughter spoke her first word.”
“What did she say?”
“Triethanolammoniumdodecylbenzenesulfonate”
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