There was a papa mole, a mamma mole, and a baby mole.
They lived in a hole out in the country near a farmhouse.
Papa mole poked his head out of the hole and said, “Mmmm, I smell sausage!”
Mamma mole poked her head outside the hole and said, “Mmmm, I smell pancakes!”
Baby mole tried to stick his head outside but couldn’t because of the two bigger moles.
Baby mole said, “The only thing I smell is molasses.”
One Christmas Eve, a frenzied young man ran into a pet shop looking for an unusual Christmas gift for his new wife. The shop owner suggested a parrot named Chet, which could sing famous Christmas carols. This seemed like the perfect gift.
“How do I get him to sing?” the young man asked, excitedly.
“Simply hold a lighted match directly under his feet” was the shop owner’s reply. Here, let me show you.
The shop owner held a lighted match under the parrot’s left foot and Chet began to sing: “Jingle Bells! Jingle Bells!”.
The shop owner then held another match under the parrot’s right foot and Chet’s tune changed to “Silent Night, Holy Night”.
The young man was so impressed that he paid the shopkeeper and ran home as quickly as he could with Chet under his arm.
When his wife saw her gift, she was overwhelmed. “How beautiful!”, she exclaimed, “Can he talk?”
“No,” the young man replied, “but, he can sing. Let me show you”. So the young man whipped out his lighter and placed it under Chet’s left foot, as the shopkeeper had shown him, and Chet crooned: “Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells”.
The man then moved the lighter to Chet’s right foot, and out came: “Silent Night, Holy Night…”
The wife, her face filled with curiosity, then asked, “What if we hold the lighter between his legs”?
The man did not know. “Let’s try it”, he answered, eager to please his wife. He held the lighter between Chet’s feet and Chet twisted his face, cleared his throat, and began to sing loudly like it was the performance of his life…“Chet’s nuts roasting on an open fire.”
The squirrels in her neck of the woods are quite neighborly.
very true as well 
