A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer.
The husband puts in “Mypenis”.
The wife falls to the ground laughing because on the screen it flashes up…
“ERROR. Not long enough”
1 Like
Ther____t: “I think you have a phobia of marriage. Do you know what the symptoms are?”
Me: “Can’t say I do.”
Ther____t: “That’s one of them!”
1 Like
CREATING A PASSWORD
cabbage
Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.
boiledcabbage
Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.
1 boiled cabbage
Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces.
50fuckingboiledcabbages
Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character.
50FUCKINGboiledcabbages
Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively.
50FuckingBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourArse.IfYouDon’tGiveMeAccessImmediately
Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.
NowIAmGettingReallyPissedOff50FuckingBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourArseIfYouDontGiveMeAccessImmediately
Sorry, that password is already in use.
1 Like
Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket.
It seemed a little strange.
When the waiter brought our water and cutlery, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket.
Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets.
When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, “Why the spoon?” "Well, "he explained, “the restaurant’s owners hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all our processes.
After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped piece of cutlery.
It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour.
If our staff are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift.”
As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it with his spare.
“I’ll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now.” I was impressed.
I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter’s zip on his trousers.
Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies.
So before he walked off, I asked the waiter, “Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?”
“Oh, certainly!”
Then he lowered his voice. “Not everyone is so observant.
That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we can save time in the rest-room.
By tying this string to the tip of you know what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the rest-room by 76.39 per cent.”
I asked “After you get it out, how do you put it back?”
“Well,” he whispered, “I don’t know about the others, but I use the spoon.”
1 Like
1 Like
1 Like