wht couldnt the 14 yr old get into the pirate movie? It was rated ARRR!
An old cowboy and his wife are riding theyre horse to town for a night out, about a mile from the house the horse stops, he gets off grabs the reigns looking the horse in the eyes says thats one. gets back on 100 yards later horse stops again he again grabs reigns thats 2 gets back on goes 100 ft horse stops he gets off says thats 3, pulls his p____l shoots the horse in the head down it goes with wife. Wife gets up brushing off dirt and says you no good son of a bitch, how the hell we supppose to get to town n back now? he grabbed her chin n said thats 1
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a boy carrying duck tape walks by an old man on porch, ol man says what cha doing boy, boy says going duck hunting wanna go? ol man say no you have fun. An hour later boy walks by with 3 ducks wrapped in the tape and ol man thought wow. Next day boy walks by with some chicken wire says going chicken hunting wanna go old man said no, good luck though. Hour later boy walks back by with 4 hens in the wire. Next day ol man seen the boy coming with 3 pussy willow twigs in hand ol man says hold on boy let me grab my hat im going with ya
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Funny story. True story. Just happened. I don’t proofread what I type into Google because they do it for me. I don’t even look at it as I type. I just typed this into Google.
what country has public toilets with clear glass walls
Or, so I thought. When Google said.
Showing results for what country has public toilets with clear glass walls
I looked at what I had actually typed, which was.
what country has pubic toilets with clear glass walls
That’s a Freudian slip.
Religion teacher asks the class: “How do you get into Heaven?”
Little Lizzy: “Always be good, pray every day, go to church on Sundays and love thy neighbour.”
Teacher: “Very good Lizzy. Anyone else?”
Little Kevin: “Legs first.”
Teacher: “Huh?”
Little Kevin: “Yeah, legs first. Yesterday afternoon I walked past my mom’s bedroom and the door was open and she was lying on her bed with her legs up high yelling ‘Oh God, I’m coming!’. Was a good thing the mailman was on top of her or she would have been gone.”
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He got in one little fight and his mum got scared, she said, you’re moving in with your auntie and uncle, out of Bel Air. 
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At least it wasn’t a white guy or all hell would have been let loose 
Class and Oscars don’t seem to go together over there
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He has definitely got too big for his boots
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That was a great one!!!
Chris Rock dissed Jada in a joke about her bald hairstyle, calling her the next G. I. Jane. She has Alopecia, a disease that causes her to lose her hair, which is why she keeps it shaved.
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If I was Will Smith it wouldn’t be a slap I gave Chris Rock. Well done Will 
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Women say that giving birth is more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts.
Here is proof they are wrong.
A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, “It might be nice to have another c___d”.
You never hear a guy say, “I think I’d like another kick in the nuts”.
Case closed.
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Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.
The pharmacist at the counter asked the older boy, ‘Son, how old are you?’
‘Eight’, the boy replied.
The man continued, ‘Do you know what these are used for?’
The boy replied, “Not exactly, but they aren’t for me. They’re for him. He’s my brother. He’s four.”
“Oh, really?” the pharmacist replied with a grin.
“Yes.” the boy said. “We saw on TV that if you use these, you would be able to swim, play tennis and ride a bike. Right now, he can’t do none of those.” 
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Yeah piece of piss this giving birth malarkey