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Perfect Timing
A woman goes to the doctor to get a sick note because she doesn’t feel like going to work.
The doctor examines her. “Ma’am, I can’t find anything to write you in sick”
“Please, Doctor, I just don’t feel like working today.”
The doctor thinks about it.
Then a slight smile, he opens his pants, exposing his penis.
“Please put it in your mouth.”
“Yuck, that disgusts me!”
“Then we have it! - Loss of appetite!”
An elderly lady comes to the doctor: “Doctor, I have this flatulence, although it doesn’t bother me that much, it’s annoying. It never stinks and it always goes away quietly. Really, I’ve probably had twenty bouts of flatulence since then I’m here in the room, even though they couldn’t notice it because it happens without smell or sound.”
The Doctor: “Take these tablets and come back in a week.”
After a week she appears again and says: “Doctor! What the hell did you give me? My flatulence, although it is still quiet, it smells terrible!”
“Very good. Now that your nose is working again, let’s take care of your hearing…”
An ant and an elephant got married. …
… During the first sex the elephant collapses dead: heart attack!
“Such crap,” curses the ant, “5 minutes of fun - and now I get to dig a grave for the rest of my life.”
also perfect timing
Russian fireworkers training
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