This remind me of another mirror joke:
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, “I feel Horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a Compliment.”
The husband replies, ‘Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.’
Ever since I was a c___d, I’ve always had a fear of someone under my bed at night. So I went to a psychiatrist and told him I’ve got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there’s somebody under it. I’m scared. I think I’m going crazy.
“Just put yourself in my hands for one year,” said the psychiatrist. “Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears.”
“How much do you charge?” “$80 per visit,” replied the doctor. “I’ll s___p on it and if needed I will come back to you,” I said.
Six months later the psychiatrist met me on the street. “Why didn’t you come to see me about those fears you were having?” he asked. “Well, $80 a visit three times a week for a year is an awful lot of money! A bartender cured me for $10. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought me a new SUV.”
“Is that so!” With a bit of an attitude he said, “and how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?” “He told me to cut the legs off the bed – ain’t nobody under there now!”
A woman decided to have a face lift for her birthday. She spent $5000 and felt really good about the results.
On her way home she stopped at a dress shop to look around.
As she was leaving, she said to the sales clerk,
“I hope you don’t mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?”
"About 35,"he replied. “I’m actually 47,” the woman said, feeling really happy.
After that she went into McDonald’s for lunch and asked the order taker the same question.
He replied, “Oh, you look about 29.”
“I am actually 47!” she said, feeling really good.
While standing at the bus stop she asked an old man the same question.
He replied, “I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going.
But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a woman’s age.
If I put my hand up your shirt I will be able to tell your exact age.”
There was no one around, so the woman said, “What the hell?” and let him slip his hand up her shirt.
After feeling around for a while, the old man said, “OK, You are 47.”
Stunned, the woman said, “That was brilliant! How did you do that?”
The old man replied, “I was behind you in line at McDonald’s.”
A Man walks into a Pharmacy and says to the Pharmacist,
“Listen, I have Three Girls coming over tonight. I’ve never had Three Girls at once before. So I need something to keep me Horny… keep me Potent.”
The Pharmacist reaches under the Counter, unlocks the Bottom Drawer and takes out a small Cardboard Box marked with a label - “Viagra Extra Strength” and says,
“Here, if you eat this, you’ll go Humping Nuts for Twelve Hours.”
The man says, “Gimme Three Boxes.”
The next day the Man walks into the same Pharmacy.
Limps up to the Pharmacist and pulls down his Pants.
The Pharmacist looks in Horror as he notices the man’s Penis is Black and Blue, and Skin is Hanging Off in some places.
The man says, “Gimme a bottle of Deep Heat.”
The Pharmacist replies in horror, “JEEZ. You CAN’T put Deep Heat on that”…
The Man says,
“NO. NO. The Deep Heat is for my Arms, cos the Girls didn’t Show Up”…
“Bless me F____r, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.”
The priest asks, “Is that you, little Joey Pagano?”
“Yes, F____r, it is.”
“And who was the girl you were with?”
“I can’t tell you, F____r. I don’t want to ruin her reputation.”
“Well, Joey, I’m sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?”
“I cannot say.”
“Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?”
“I’ll never tell.”
“Was it Nina Capelli?”
“I’m sorry, but I cannot name her.”
“Was it Cathy Piriano?”
“My lips are sealed.”
“Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?”
“Please, F____r! I cannot tell you.”
The priest sighs in frustration. “You’re very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you’ve sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.”
Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, “What’d you get?”
"Four months vacation and five good leads…
The difference between Oo and oO
Two young guys appear in court after being arrested for smoking dope.
The judge says, "You seem like nice young men, and I’d like to give you a second chance instead of jail time.
I want you to go out this weekend and try to convince others of the evils of d__g use.
I’ll see you back in court Monday.
"On Monday, the judge asks the first guy, "How did you do over the weekend?
""Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up d__gs forever.
""Seventeen people? That’s wonderful. How did you do it? "
“I used a diagram, your honor.
I drew two circles like this: O o.
Then I told them that the big circle is your brain before d__gs and the small circle is your brain after d__gs.”
“That’s admirable,” says the judge.
Then he turns to the second guy. “And how did you do?”
“Well, your honor, I persuaded 156 people to give up d__gs forever.”
“Wow!” says the judge. “156 people! How did you manage to do that?”
“Well, I used a similar diagram,” the guy says.
"I drew two circles like this: o O.
Then I pointed to the little circle and said, 'This is your asshole before prison…"
My last one for international womans day 
Last one crack me up 
Last one is the best indeed…
I believe i have replay it 10 times at least
At least she fell soft and did not hurt herself
I bet she didn’t even realised what happened
