She yells, “No, I won’t s___p with you tonight, you pig!”
Everyone in the bar stops and stares.
Completely embarrassed, the guy slinks back to his table with a red face.
After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes.
She smiles and says, “I’m sorry if I embarrassed you. I’m a graduate student in psychology, and I’m studying how people respond to embarrassing public situations.”
To which the guy responds as loudly as possible, “What do you mean $200 for a BJ?”
A man walks into a bar and takes a seat on one of the stools. The bartender looks at him and asks him what he’d like to _____. The man orders four shots of whiskey for himself. The bartender looks at the man and says
“Four shots for yourself? What’s the special occasion?”
To which the man replies “First blowjob.”
The bartender puts on a congratulatory smile and pats the man on the shoulder and says he’ll give him a fifth shot on the house.
To which the man says “No thanks, if four shots doesn’t get the taste out of my mouth, nothing will.”
A seminary student from a small town decides to go into the big city…
He came across a street walker who said, “BJ $50”. After walking another block, he came across another who also said, “BJ $50”.
After he returned to the seminary, he asks a nun, “What is a BJ?”. Nun answered, “$50, same as in town.”
It’s 2am. This guy is walking back his date to her apartment building…
They’re standing in front of the building entrance
“C’mon Mary, you know I like you. Just give me a little kiss on my dick before you go? Just a quick bj, that’s all…”
“I’m not like that, Jonh. I don’t think I should”
“Mary, you know I like you a lot. We had a great date. Why don’t you just put it in your mouth for a bit? Just a little bj before you go? C’mon, I won’t tell!”
“Um. I don’t think I should, John. I like you but… It’s late…”
“Pleaeeeaaasseee? C’mon. Just a little BJ and then you can go? Please?”
A bleary-eyed girl’s younger sister in her night gown opens the front door and says: “Mary, dad told me to blow him if you won’t… but for fuck’s sake - tell him to take his hand off of the god damned intercom button, or else dad will come down and then Johnny will be blowing himself”
A pimp is breaking in his new bitch.
Pimp: Listen. If you wanna be my woman, your gonna have to make me some money.
Hoe: But I’ve never done anything like this before.
Pimp: Don’t worry. You go and put on your sexiest dress and stand under that lamppost. I’ll be back here. Any problems. Just come back and tell me, and and I’ll sort it out.
The women is standing under the lamppost and is approached by a young black stud.
Stud: You… umm… looking for some businesses.
Hoe: Yes.
Stud: How much?
Hoe: Just wait here and I’ll be back.
Hoe: He said how much?
Pimp: Tell him $100.
Hoe: Honey. You can have me for $100.
Stud: Girl your k__ling me. I’ve only got $60.
Hoe: I’ll be right back.
Hoe: He’s only got $60.
Pimp: Tell him ‘$60 only gets him a BJ’ .
Hoe: $60 and I’ll give you the best BJ.
Stud: Well… I guess that’ll have to do.
They go round the back of the alley. The women takes one look the young studs manhood.
Hoe: Wait a moment. I’ll be right back.
Women goes see her pimp.
Hoe: Have you got $40 to lend the young man?
There are 3 generations of prostitutes sitting in the living room watching Steve Wilkos together. A d______r, her m____r, and her grandm____r. The d______r starts complaining to her m____r, “I can’t believe i only got $50 for giving a BJ today!”. Her m____r gasps, “$50! Back in my day we were lucky to get $20!”. Then the grandm____r chimes in, “$20! Hah! Back in my day we were lucky to have a warm meal in our bellies!”
A strip club owner is eating breakfast with his wife. He begins to cry. “Honey, things are changing. Men just ain’t spending money at titty bars like they used to.”
“Oh that can’t be.” She responds. “There are some things men will always go to a strip club for.”
“But honey, I’ve tried everything. They just seem disinterested these days.” He hangs his head in defeat, wiping tears from his eyes.
His wife leans in to try to comfort him. “It’s ok. Your business will come back around. Men will always enjoy being groped by a strangers, spending hundreds of dollars for the VIP experience, the occasional BJ in the bathroom, and getting black out _____ then waking up in a completely different city. That’s what strip clubs are for.”
The husband looks up and responds. “I know, but Delta airlines offers a round trip.”
A man says to his doctor “Doctor, I have an embarrassing sexual problem”
The doctor says “Tell me about your sex life,”
The man says “Well, first thing in the morning, the wife and I have a quick ‘morning glory’. Then I go to work and about eleven o’clock my secretary gives me a BJ at my desk. I nip home at lunchtime and do the wife over the kitchen table, then after work I go to see my mistress from five until seven. Then after dinner my wife and I generally hit the bed early for a serious session, sometimes two or three.”
“I see,” says the doctor, “and what seems to be the problem?”
“Well,” says the patient, “it hurts when I masturbate.”
This is true: A scientist recently discovered that there are actually wasy more than 8,000. She discovered this by examing a human, not a cow on which the 8,000 figure was based on!!
New research shows the clitoris has over 10,000 nerve endings. 20 % more than the previously suggested amount from studies on cows in the 1970s. Does this increase matter?
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p0djvxxs
