Carlos & Claire

I feel like a c___d who was just born and does not understand what they say to him, he teaches me, it ends in tears. 'Cause I’m trying, gotta let go

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Everything changes, Carlos gives 70% of himself in relationships, I don’t know how to be weak, feminine and fragile. We both want to be leaders. Although I don’t even understand what he achieves with such behavior? Maybe he wants me to admire him?

Time flies fast for us. It’s best to be happy.

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If he doesn’t admire you then he must be crazy.

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Can you guess how many people want to be in Carlos’ place?

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Dear Claire,

Different cultures and traditions can be problematic in relationships, and I know that all too well in my own marriage as my wife is Japanese and I am British, and I met Ryo in Japan as part of my two-year travel around the world 21 years ago.

At first, we were very clumsy and made many mistakes until we had a bust-up very similar to yours last night because of many language problems, but also of cultural ones. However, Ryo being the lovely Ryo she is came up with a solution and said to me that if we love each other and are totally committed to each other then we can make up our own personal cultures and traditions by combining each country’s own core values into our relationship.

The core Japanese values are:

• Interdependence

• Harmony

• Politeness

• Respect

• Formality

The core British values are:

• Democracy

• The rule of law

• Individual liberty

• Mutual respect

• Tolerance of those with different faiths and beliefs

And so that is what we did, and we made a written contract to each other, which still hangs on the wall of our home 19 years later, and whenever we argue (as we are human) our kids point to the contract, and we all start laughing. It’s not always easy but I am so grateful that I met a life partner like Ryo who is so kind and graceful in her thoughts. Through her, I have learnt not to expect her to be any different than what she is and the same goes for her that she doesn’t expect me to be any different than what I am either.

The point is, that if you cannot be without each other and being apart makes you feel lost, like a spare part, then you have to find a solution. Maybe try ours, as it worked for us, and maybe it can work for you too. :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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Most of the commenters are men and therefore probably not neutral. Me neither… You can also smack me for my comment…
And indeed it is difficult for an Italian to find his way in a modern society. Italy is patriarchal.
Men tell what to do and the woman follows. it is tradition. it’s an illusion, but it still is.
Carlos of course also lives with this background. Of course, society is changing, but only very slowly.
So you just let him have a little more right and keep working towards equality.
and of course you also have “weapons” to ultimately convince him of your opinion. :innocent:

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Speak for yourself :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye: :love_you_gesture:

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@anon31605929 this was excellent advice, I too had struggles as I am American and my bride is Korean, 31 years later still going strong

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Greetings! Indeed, I think that this can help, we will draw up an agreement. Of course, there is an idea in the fact that a man wants to manage, I have learned to understand all the people who meet me on the way. Once I read: - that if a person wants to be understood through another person, he needs to try to understand this person first. Men have different hormones, testosterone and the emotional background of thinking, I am glad that in most cases Carlos listens to my opinion, although he is angry. Of course, he weighs the pros and cons of having truth in my visualization. Italy is the strongest and most powerful, powerful, powerful, not early-terennoy, not early-terenan. This is his right, of course I want there to be peace in the whole world. I even feel sorry for offending an insect.

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I read your comment :+1:
really good perspective , Ryo and congratulations to you , I wish you always happy

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I think Claire will get through these difficulties. , have a strong character :heart:

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There will always be arguments, disagreements, we are human, these will be resolved in time, let’s talk about beauty

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We all know that in Italy the people who have the most power are the women. The men can shout and gesture all they want, at the end of the day they all come home to their woman and cry like babies.

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you are so perfect. don’t leave us :heart:

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On my understanding, you come from Ukraine so you will be familiar with this saying that: ‘The man may be the head of the household. But the woman is the neck, and she can turn the head whichever way she pleases.’ :love_you_gesture: :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

I am sure that if there is a will there will be a way. :kissing_heart:

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I like that saying :+1: never heard that one before :grin:

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Have you watched from other houses?

Claire Did you watch from other houses?

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Claire Did you watch from other houses?