What a lovely memento to show their kids. 
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What’s up with these two ? they look miserable. are they sad or just bored ? 
Oh, please don’t encourage him. 
The reason Pasha looks that way is because he can’t s__t. He’s constipated. 
He spent over an hour on the toilet. He was in the bathroom so long Arina came into check on him. 
Strappon doesn’t do him any good 
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Unless i missed it you didn’t actually describe why 'Bristols ’
cockney rhyming slang for titties where the thing you are describing rhymes with the second part of the phrase you use in this case Bristol Cities so Bristols for titties
Dog as in Dog & bone for phone
Apples as in apples & pears for stairs
These are only the most common ones there are many
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Sorry Let’s do This i scrolled back and found that you had answered the question.
Yes I understood the meaning of the original phrase and the same with the other examples you have given but thank you anyway. 
excellent! hands-free dildo play is not for ev’ryone 
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Secret room @ToreyK 
It’s a loggia that people use for smoking. It also currently has Montana & Eva’s boxes that were initially in the living room.
It really should have a camera.
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Secret room … ??? Very famous TV program in the world was 5th edition in my country . The couple who did not win it, but achieved something much more important (love…?), whenever i t did, would enter a large wardrobe, such as a secret room (blind spot for TV cameras). Other couple who did so against the bathroom wall gathered hate and unfavorable comments.
Is there anybody wrapped in that carpet standing there? Maybe Karolina? Or even Henry? 
Got to be Cleo surely? (Cleopatra,get it?)
But it is a carpet not a sarcophagus